6:24am: Alarm goes off. Snooze.
6:25am: Tina (the cat) heard my alarm and climbs up the bed for pets.
6:28am: Nietzsche strolls in to the room and meows to ask us to turn the faucet on so he can drink some water.
6:33am: Alarm goes off again. Wake up, check Instagram, Reddit, weather.
6:45am: Drag self out of bed, put clothes on, wash face, put makeup on, fix hair
6:59am: Panic. Almost 7am!!!!!
7:08am: Finish getting ready, dash around putting Louise’s backpack and lunch box in car, purse in car, nap mat in car.
7:12am: Set up toast and microwaved eggs.
7:14am: Tell Louise it’s time to get up; agree that yes, it’s early and I also want to keep sleeping.
7:20am: Go into Celine’s room, change her clothes and diaper, convince her toast (“toastie”) and eggs are the best things to ever happen to her.
7:25am: Force Louise’s clothes on while she screeches “I don’t WANT TO go to SCHOOL.” Pour Louise water and Celine milk in their customized cups because WOE TO THEE who gives Louise her water in the orange cup and not the red cup.
7:32am: Panic again. Have to leave the house NOW or I’ll be late for work. Offer fruit snacks as reward for doing the same damn thing they do every school day. It works.
7:45am: Hustle the girls into day care, drop Celine off with a kiss, hustle Louise out of day care and back into the car.
8:04am: Drop off Louise at her school. Pray she doesn’t have the one dude open the car door for curbside drop-off, and of course get the one dude. Apparently she’s against dudes opening her door.
8:26am: PANICPANICPANICPANIC. Cut everyone off and drive like a maniac in an attempt to get to work faster.
8:29am: Swipe keycard, barely make it to work on time.
8:30-5:30pm: Workworkwork. Run errands at lunch if not already booked. Switch car keys with Michael so he can pick up the girls.
5:35pm: Leave work, call Michael to see if anything needs to be picked up for dinner.
6:05pm: Mike and I eat quickly while the girls watch a snippet of Frozen on TV.
6:35pm: Go to Target to get the things we need for daily life: bread, eggs, milk, cheese, strawberries, spaghetti, and you know…wine.
7:09pm: Celine won’t stop crying unless I hold her, so even though it’s Mike’s night for bath and bed, I’m snuggling with Celine post bath.
7:10pm: FaceTime with Aunt Dom and Uncle Ross to distract the kids and also show off their awesome Anna and Elsa towels. Celine mentions Uncle Ross probably seven times.
7:14pm: Pick up the house, putting socks in laundry hampers and hanging up the girls’ clothes.
7:25pm: Brush your teeth!
7:30pm: Back on Celine duty…she has requested mom read her story.
7:40pm: Stories are done, cleaning is done…I can actually stand at our kitchen counter and take a breather.
8pm: Both girls in bed, one girl asleep.
9pm: Both girls asleep.
9-10:45pm: Do crafty things or just stare blankly at computer screen. Also included: Real Housewives, Shameless, Girls, Broad City, or Nashville.